It seems it's been more than a month since I've written here, which feels strange. I guess it's not that I didn't have anything to write about. If anything, I've had too many things to say lately and I haven't been sure how to say them. So I kept them close, guarded them like secrets.
I guess I should start by saying that I completely massacred Book One and brought it back to life. At first, it was scary. But then, it wasn't. Tearing apart my own world made it that much easier to rebuild it. Maybe it wasn't so bad because I wanted to experiment. Or maybe it's because I've gotten good at rebuilding things. Either way, Book One is better than I ever could have imagined! Want to know the best part? I finally know what it's all about. And not just Book One. I know the theme for each book AND the series as a whole. When people ask (and they do ask) what it's all about, I can finally explain it without rambling and sounding like I don't actually know what it's about. And this realization has helped me put the pieces of this book back together! Looking back over the past two months, I'm not really sure how I got through them. I guess when we look back at the difficult things in our life we're not sure how we made it. Maybe we're all just a lot stronger than we ever believed. And maybe all you invisible readers out there don't know why you're so strong. But lucky for me, I do. Everyday, I strive to be as strong as my grandma. She's so amazing that it's hard to believe anything could ever break her. And I think that's what everyone in my family and community believed too. And I think we all still believe that even though she's been diagnosed with breast cancer.
I kind of hate that word. Cancer. It just doesn't even sound good in my mouth. But I guess if I've learned anything through this it's that my grandma IS breakable. We all are. But she has the strength to put herself back together everyday. And I think that's pretty amazing. And even with this diagnosis she is still the same wonderful person. In trying to wrap my mind around all of this, of course I've been writing about it. Writing is the only thing that gets me through each day. And I guess, unknowingly, I started this new, memoir-ish kind of project. So may my pen be mightier, I guess. I'm going to try to keep my updates more frequent because I wouldn't want to forget any of the crazy, amazing, labor-intensive last months in my first semester at SNHU. I have just two more submissions and then residency, which I can't wait for! But for right now, I must go! I'm leaving for Myrtle Beach tomorrow and have nothing packed.
xoxo
K.K.