I've wanted to write a post like this for awhile now, but I wasn't really sure what I wanted to say. But I had anaha moment today and I figured it out!
I'm sure all of you invisible readers out there have noticed that the nature of these posts have changed this year. I've definitely been posting more frequently, but there are times when I don't really feel like I have anything to repot or reflect on. And so I let another week pass by and before I know it, the end of the month is here and I have a hard time remembering the big moments in my writing.
I think this has changed in the last year because writing has now become a full time thing for me. Before it was something I did more for the escape into my own little world than anything else. Now writing is real work every day that I need to do every day in order to complete my submissions for school before the deadline. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. In one respect, having a deadline makes all of this feel real and pushes me to write on the hard days when it doesn't feel like there's anything left in my brain. On the other hand, how do you escape from your escape? I'm still trying to find that thing that reading and writing used to be for me, that one thing that helps me decompress from a long day of work. Some days I'm not sure I'll find it. But then there are days like today when writing still feels like an escape and the words feel utterly perfect. I've been trying to figure out why the past few days have been so great and I think I figured it out! There are five things that have helped me enjoy my writing time even when it feels difficult:
1.) Coffee--I don't even think this one needs an explanation!
2.) My Inspiration Board--When it feels like the words have disappeared forever, I just look at all the pictures and quotes on my board and remember how much I love filling a page with words. And then I slowly start filling a page with something (even if it's nonsense) and then the words I need are there. And seeing my deadline is like a tangible reminder that I have to write even if I've revised the first chapter twenty or so times already. 3.) Writer Friends--This is definitely new. In my undergrad I didn't really know many other writers. But in the MFA program at SNHU we all just feel like a family. And it's really nice to have people to peer workshop with, to talk things out with, to just say hey, it's been a difficult writing day, why is this so important again? And they usually pull you back from the ledge and make you feel like your writing is important, that your story is important, and most importantly that they have those days too! I couldn't imagine going through this without them. 4.) Non-Writer Support--Now this is something I've had all my life but didn't really appreciate until I became serious about my writing. I think having a group of people that support you no matter what is integral to continuing on with anything that you're passionate about because there will be hard days. It would be, well fiction, if I told you that every writing day is perfect because that's just not true. Some days my writing just sucks and other days it feels brilliant (though usually in a couple of days I'll hate that too). But what's important is that I still do it every single day because I couldn't imagine notdoing it. And thankfully I have a wonderful family and a fantastic best friend who believe in me and support me no matter what. 5.) An Amazing Story--I don't think I could be so committed to continuing this story if I didn't think it was amazing! Frankly, I'm just as excited to go back and read the finished product as I am to write it. Some people couldn't work on the same story for five years without the guarantee that it would go somewhere. I guess in a way, I don't have that guarantee. But I believe this will be published someday, and I believe someone will want to read it (even if it's just my mom). So I keep writing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that in writing or art or life, things aren't always perfect. And that's okay. I think I'm finally understanding that writing is work but it's work that I love to do. And I think the reason I couldn't say that before was because I felt guilty for those bad writing days. But I don't think I should be. I think embracing the difficulties will make the triumphs even better. And the fact that I'm close to halfway done with my first submission is a triumph. So if you're having a bad day, remember this: It's okay, tomorrow will be better. You just have to believe it!
xoxo
K.K.